2010-03-06
17:36:28
17:36:28
Not the sunscreen song
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '98
people often ask me if I have any advice to offer
and when they do, I tell them this:
If you're unsure about what yoy're going to do with your life
try to remember some of the most interesting people didn't know what
they
were going to do at age 22 or even at 40, and nearly all of them are
unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go- this is because of your
irritating pesonality- nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting
you
through the day is the misconception that people like you- end it now.
Learn how to smoke Winnie blues. If you're underaged, get an older kid to
buy them for you. Get to really know your parents- they're good for
money.
Milk them, then put them in an old people's home. Travel as often as you
can. Live in New York City once. Live in northern California once. Never
live in Adelaide- it's a hole.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. If you do have children,
lock
them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you. Sing. Dance. Jump in front of a
car.
Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids. And
if
you see Quindon Tarver in the street- punch him in the face for me...
Brother and sister, we can be free.
If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember you're
probably
fatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an eating disorder.
Don't
worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam, ring
up
your school at the scheduled time and make a bomb threat. if you're a
girl,
lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to
do. Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with
richer parents is getting private tuiton.
Shoplift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop lifting into
their prices so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for
free. When you're on work experience, steal a cabcharge and take a taxi
to Perth.
Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you
cancer. Keep your old love letters. If you see an old lover in the
street, try to run them over in your car. Don't mess too much with your hair,
otherwise by the time you're 35, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
Remember
you can wear your underwear 4 times without washing: forwards,
backwards, inside out forwards, inside out backwards.
Brother and sister we can be free-ee-ee,
Brother and sister, we can belieeeeve, we can belie-
Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It's a
free country. It's public space. Skateboard on war memorials. Smoke in your
school uniform. Set off car alarms. Plant drugs on a teacher. Join a
cult. Spike drinks. Don't flush public toilets. Remember, only you will only
truly take care of you- so carry a concealed weapon. Don't wear your P
plates. Walk around with your eyelids rolled back. Touch your tounge on
the tip of batteries. Be open to new love. Remember, you can't get pregnant
the first time you have sex. Expect others to support you. It's easy to
get the dole- and still do cash in hand work. Respect your elders. When
your grandma dies have her stuffed. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss
them when you're kneecapped by a loan shark. Get revenge. Don't forgive
anyone for anything. But most of all, don't aim too high- You're probably only
suited to an officer or factory job.
And trust me on the Winnie Blues.
haha, jaa det var paroditexten vi fick häromdagen i skolan. Den seriösa heter ; Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen). Tyckte dock att den här texten var bättre ;)
Pusspuss
people often ask me if I have any advice to offer
and when they do, I tell them this:
If you're unsure about what yoy're going to do with your life
try to remember some of the most interesting people didn't know what
they
were going to do at age 22 or even at 40, and nearly all of them are
unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go- this is because of your
irritating pesonality- nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting
you
through the day is the misconception that people like you- end it now.
Learn how to smoke Winnie blues. If you're underaged, get an older kid to
buy them for you. Get to really know your parents- they're good for
money.
Milk them, then put them in an old people's home. Travel as often as you
can. Live in New York City once. Live in northern California once. Never
live in Adelaide- it's a hole.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. If you do have children,
lock
them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you. Sing. Dance. Jump in front of a
car.
Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids. And
if
you see Quindon Tarver in the street- punch him in the face for me...
Brother and sister, we can be free.
If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember you're
probably
fatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an eating disorder.
Don't
worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam, ring
up
your school at the scheduled time and make a bomb threat. if you're a
girl,
lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to
do. Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with
richer parents is getting private tuiton.
Shoplift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop lifting into
their prices so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for
free. When you're on work experience, steal a cabcharge and take a taxi
to Perth.
Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you
cancer. Keep your old love letters. If you see an old lover in the
street, try to run them over in your car. Don't mess too much with your hair,
otherwise by the time you're 35, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
Remember
you can wear your underwear 4 times without washing: forwards,
backwards, inside out forwards, inside out backwards.
Brother and sister we can be free-ee-ee,
Brother and sister, we can belieeeeve, we can belie-
Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It's a
free country. It's public space. Skateboard on war memorials. Smoke in your
school uniform. Set off car alarms. Plant drugs on a teacher. Join a
cult. Spike drinks. Don't flush public toilets. Remember, only you will only
truly take care of you- so carry a concealed weapon. Don't wear your P
plates. Walk around with your eyelids rolled back. Touch your tounge on
the tip of batteries. Be open to new love. Remember, you can't get pregnant
the first time you have sex. Expect others to support you. It's easy to
get the dole- and still do cash in hand work. Respect your elders. When
your grandma dies have her stuffed. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss
them when you're kneecapped by a loan shark. Get revenge. Don't forgive
anyone for anything. But most of all, don't aim too high- You're probably only
suited to an officer or factory job.
And trust me on the Winnie Blues.
haha, jaa det var paroditexten vi fick häromdagen i skolan. Den seriösa heter ; Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen). Tyckte dock att den här texten var bättre ;)
Pusspuss
